Guest Post by Simone : The Journey of Friendship

the journey of a friendship.

we met via our blogs...and a friendship was born.

i believe i was her first commenter.

children of the same age. a boy and a girl.

i'm the city girl. she's the country girl.

sharing. talking. confiding.

coincidences-thoughts-hopes-likes-concerns.

we email. we facebook. and now we even text.

i'm think i've told her things even when i haven't. and vice versa.

she's part of my day even when we aren't in touch, i'm talking to her in my head.

there are things that she thinks she isn't. but she so is.

good things, so many of them. i think she's marvellous.

wise-graceful-clever-capable-thoughtful.

one of those friends that you know you need in your life.

you're grateful - so grateful - and happy that they are there.

thanks lovely girl.

have a wonderful holiday, hope it's all the things you want it to be.

read-swim-run-eat-rest. breathe.

see you in September xx

Thank you for such a fabulous guest post Simone and for bringing some 'Bottom of the Ironing Basket' love here. I have to admit, I felt more than honoured and touched to read this - thank you from the bottom of my heart (and ironing basket!)...and may I just say? Ditto! Likewise! The same!

Lou xxx

Hello again, hello...

When having a life crisis; to blog or not to blog? Hard question and one that I keep coming back to. So this is experimental. Words and pretty pictures just have to be therapeutic don't they?

I have taken the fairly momentous decision to take some time off work. Even as I type that I can't quite fathom that it's come to this, as I have always been Lou: workingmother. For abit I will be Lou: mother. And to boot, Lou: mother-with-a-health-issue. Really trying to be brave about the whole thing. But I know I am not right as I have had to i) admit it and ii) call on the big guns of family and friends to help me through. When you form your life being self-sufficient, this, to me, represents a big deal. So there you go; bear with me as my thoughts meander...

I think this is so pretty...via crush cul de sac via dust jacket attic

A word on friends. It never fails to amaze me, the kindness of others. I note this especially when rallying is required. Friends who rally and offer to help, who email and text with encouragement and affirmation. This week has been about the rally. And from some unexpected sources; school mums particularly of note.

via tiny white daisies

A word about Godparents. When we choose Godparents for the Boos, we did not follow tradition (which is to have three Godparents per child, all different, men and women). We simply choose for both our children to have the couple who were our best friends. The love they had shown our children was open and giving and without agenda. So Godparents they were. Then some time passed and they, as a couple, split up. Trauma all around and we had to, in some way, grieve for the friends we once had and adjust to having them as separate entities. I recall having worries at the time that the change in their relationship would affect their ability to be Godparents to our children, as I think Godparenting, even in these modern times, is a really important job. It really matters to me that my kids have trusted friends and confidants that they can turn to. And in these formative years it matters that they have people, other than their parents, who turn up and lavish them unconditionally with love and guidance.

This week, the friendship offered by those two Godparents has been amazing and I am so thankful again for the support. Sometimes it's not just the children who need love and guidance...

Meanwhile in a complete topic change, in efforts to simplify I got one of these. A mastery of engineering, this tool peels, cores and slices apples. I am just so taken with it and best of all; the kids can do it and there are no injuries. This is Lou's best gadget of the week.

from lakeland

And finally a word about well being. Instinctively I feel like I want to take long walks; a combination of head-clearing, scenery-absorbing, light exercising walks. And to cook good, health-giving food. Or maybe I should take a leaf out of my lovely Mum's book and tackle making some cakes? She bakes on a daily basis and she is one of the happiest, least worried people I know. Is there something in that? Time will tell, but I am hoping, with some time off I will get happier and less worried.

via canelle vanille flickr

A year on; sweetpeas, fondness and growing up...

I am all about tradition, as demonstrated here...a post from this time last year. This weekend our old friends from University came to stay and brought with them lots of loveliness in the form of gifts, their scrumptious boys (who have grown so much!) and all the store of memories and fondness of the last 18 years. For me there is something wonderfully life-affirming to see old friends and a part of me relaxes in the knowledge that they know me; there is no pretense, no manoeuvring.

...freshly picked sweetpeas...

...freshly made cakes...

Their visit coincided with high winds but we braved the beach anyway, at times huddling in the beach hut barbecuing sausages for the kids, as we are hardy Brits! Not exactly optimum May bank holiday weather...

Cricket orchestrated by the Daddies...my friend J whose book has steadily cimbed up the Amazon charts over the past year and who now spends his time teaching and talking at conferences all over the country! I remember him when...well, when he was always arranging some fab student-related event like a beer festival or a summer treasure hunt around our Uni town. Resourceful? Err, yes...

...cricket on a deserted beach, when a hoolie was blowing...

The little things to brighten a day...

I've got to say, it's not been the best of times lately. It's not that bad, but it's not great either. With one thing and another I feel like there are too many important matters that are being neglected in my little world. Try as I might (and I really do) I seem to never get on top of things. Sometimes this passes me by and I figure 'I can not do it all'. Other times it weighs heavy on my wellbeing, making it harder to see the light side. Along the way though, when working out what on earth should take the priority, some of these little things help me find my perspective.

Like Jake Gyllenhaal...one word: eyes...

Bowls of the freshest fruits, packed with vitamins that might just stave off the down-time lethargy.

via cannelle et vanille

A well thought out email from a dear friend whose empathy and advice made my worries about my currently tearful daughter seem less...worrying...

via sailboats and seersucker from luxe paperie

 The prospect of hot summer sun and nothing to do all day but be...

Going to bed when it's still just about light outside...all sleep is good sleep...

via toast

Beautiful flowers...I am almost considering retraining as a florist...!

via once wed

The things on my mind today...

Firstly, for all of your lovely and generous comments to my last post, a sincere thank you. You are what balm is to chapped lips. Calmer now, I move to other things to ponder, of much less weight, such as:

The fact that Lurpak thought of making butter with crushed sea salt in it. Inspired and oh-so-Danish.

The very cool sunglasses I saw someone wearing yesterday. I so wish I had asked her where they were from? But I was put off by her coltish look; and now I'll never know!

Zooey Deschanel via evabreath

I don't recall being this interested in the arrival of summer for years. Has it been a really long winter? I want to feel the sun on my skin.

via pretty stuff

We start now on 4 weeks of school holidays; I really did try to get the house in order beforehand as I know...within a matter of mere days we will be living as if we emptied out every drawer and cupboard. I like the lined-up slippers here...

Photograph by Edina Van Der Wyck

I am going today to visit another of my oldest friends (I have alot of old friends don't I? I am all about longevity). I smiled as I read an article in this month's UK Vogue (all inspired by the Royal wedding) about how bridesmaids have to endure dresses they did not choose.

I was this old friend's bridesmaid a few years back. I was not able to go to any dress fittings (distance, rapid wedding-planning and small children conspired against it) so she promptly visited Selfridges, tried on two options as if she were me, bought them both and presented me with a choice. I opted for the silver satin, slinky red carpet-esque, backless number. Now that was a bridesmaid's dress! Not for the first time, I knew we would be friends for life.

via pretty stuff from Noa Noa

Finally, a blogger who has been with me more or less since the start - Chania of Razmataz sent me some wonderful treats. I won a 'pay it forward' on her blog and received the most beautiful delicate little Easter trinkets from her shop in Canada. Just preciousness in the post....so thank you kindly :-)

For my friend...

I have a friend who is a 'work' friend but whom I have known for years and years and who I share most of my waking thoughts with. On work days she tops and tails my day - half professional de-brief and half personal updates. She is flat out with back pain at the moment and pleaded with me today 'can you please blog more; I have nothing to read!' She is one of the very few friends who know I blog; she once described this place in cyberspace as 'like a dream'.

We have a pact that we must always wear heels to work, irrespective and no matter what. In a business meeting; it's all about the outfit. Never, ever commit to something in the future in the hope that by the time it comes, you will have reconciled yourself to having to go; you won't have. Never underestimate the benefit of an early night. And eat more mackerel. Oh and perfect motherhood is around the corner; it just alludes us every day. But most of all....breathe... :-)

I knew it when...

I knew it had been a long time between visits when everyone had changed their hair style and length and I didn't even know.

I knew it was a great extended lunch when the restaurant staff politely asked us to leave so they could set up for evening service.

I knew it was special when it was minus degrees outside and we were cosy and replete inside, with great food, wine and company.

I knew it was a rather quirky venue as I sat watching people swim in the open air Lido as I devoured my delicious meal.

I knew we'd grown up together when all the references made absolute sense; nothing was too obscure.

I knew there was that profound feeling that one of the group were missing when we all talked of her and referenced her all afternoon, as if she were there with us. Next year - we will have all 6.

I knew there were best intentions of spending time Christmas shopping but instead the day got talked away so that when we emerged, all the shops were shutting for the night.

I know they are my best of friends, when I had to take a brave gulp as I started the drive home after saying goodbye.

Garance and co, courtesy of The Sartorialist

I had a super time returning to my University town of Bristol for a girl's reunion. I found it quite surreal stepping back in time to my student days; something about that city that despite changing dramatically in the last decade and a half, it remains frozen in time for me somewhere around 1993. We went to coolest restaurant for lunch called the Lido which had an old-style Victorian natural water pool outside nestled amongst the city houses. And we talked. And talked. And talked.



So here is the deal with the Best Blog of 2010; I got to the second round! Whoooooop whoooop!

Thank you! 

However it seems that with each new round, new votes are needed - you got to really love my blog to go back and keep voting! There is some pretty tough competition (much bigger blogs with many more followers), so well, here's the thing: vote if you can, but I feel kinda funny asking again and again.

Yet the competitive part of me says VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! Meh - OK now I am done!

Go on, click here, do it...you know it will only take a second!

And so, now to Monday...time to get back to the real world, as December starts in earnest this week, time to get the advent calendars (with glitter, of course) out and start the glorious count down...

via tinywhitedaisies

Today I think...

Somehow, and it only happens every now and then, things are coming together for me from an appearance perspective! The ill-fated fringe (bangs) has finally grown out. I notice how many women dabble with this 'shall I/shan't I?' dance between fringe and no fringe. I have dabbled for years and I am here to say: I am so over it now. Don't let me do it again. Takes an age to grow out. Plus after the ravages of summer blonde, my hair has now calmed to a more pleasing brunette. I used to get described as a 'willowy brunette' by a certain someone. Let's just say he prefers me that way.

...think this is just an awesome picture...she is so beautiful...

I am running a few times a week and the benefits are just untold. I know I preach about the running - not the competing, not as an exercise fanatic, just as a nice, chilled thing to do. I run around the lanes where I grew up, at the moment stepping over conkers and fallen leaves. Just half an hour of time out...I love it.

Today sporting a new top from Jigsaw. May I just say I love Jigsaw? It never fails. My market town perked up a whole lot the day Jigsaw opened...and my bank balance declined. Hmmm. So the cardigan has an integral scarf in it. I love stuff like that. I love when you put something on and get that feeling of 'I LIKE THIS!'. God bless shopping.

Jigsaw Autumn season...

This weekend I have a day with one of my best friends - she lives abroad and I can honestly say her visits keep me kinda sane. I am storing up all my neurosis for her to calm, soothe, rationalise and remix. Counting down...

...it's all about the shoes...

Have a seat...

I have been to visit one of my oldest friends and I know I have said this before, but there is just nothing like seeing an old friend, is there? This seems to be the perennial truth of life. From University to date we have weaved through life, always staying close, despite distance and life changes. She and her husband have simply the coolest house; going to stay is like having a Hip Hotel moment. Her house has been a labour of love over recent months and is now triumphantly finished. What I liked the most was that it was peppered with Louis XIV chairs, even though it's a modern, minimal house. The contrast of old and new looked just wonderful. So I had a seat and we talked and talked and talked...until her most delightful and scrumptious 2 year old daughter said 'STOP TALKING MUMMY!' in exasperation...

So I feel like I have had a tonic of friendship to drink in...just 24 hours of slotting into someone else's life and setting the world to rights on all topics conceivable. Isn't that what friendship is all about? That, and a shared point of view or a fond memory of the same event or a wry smile at something only we know to be true. Just lovely...

Monica Belluci - my friend's lookalike...

Blogging when you are blue...

At the moment a strange but potent feeling of worry sweeps across our house like a cloud every now and then; this is what it feels like when the future has an unknown quantity in it. Anyone who knows me knows: I'm all about the known quantities. I am not great with change.

Life feels awfully grown up all of a sudden and I wonder where those carefree days of summer went?! I am sure (as in certain) that over time I will look back, as I do with most things and think WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? That little mini-freak out that persisted for the month of September 2010?

But as I am well and truly in the middle of it, I also wonder, should one blog when one is blue and worried? That surreal sensation of thinking what would they think? They being whom exactly? Who reads this and has an opinion? A handful of friends from the 'real world' who know me and know I blog. Then there are the utterly delightful strangers...500 or so a day, who pop over for a view of my little life! I love the visits; they intrigue me. Blogger stats are bizarrely addictive, don't you think?

On blue days I do wonder whether or not to blog about the particular shade of azure, navy, turquoise blue I am feeling. There is this sense that blogging is for happiness and the beauty of life, rather than the dark days. But then without exception every time I have blogged on a dark day I have been met with a barrage of wonderful, uplifting comments. Thank you so much for the comments; they really do ease my days and the words of wisdom distilled into a comment box have been graciously and happily received.

One blog friend Melissa, who sensed my current worries sent me a link to a photographer whose pictures, she just knew, would cheer me up. This is the sort of inventive virtual gift a blog friend can give. I was so touched by the gesture and share it here in this post. How lovely? I must count my blessings. Thank you Melissa, the photos are indeed gorgeous and brighten any rainy day (like today)! xxx

A bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils...

It's that time of year for back to school sensibilities. That wonderful quote from 'You've Got Mail' where Kathleen Kelly (she is 'enchanting') talks about sending a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils. What an expression; I recall hearing that for the first time and thinking YES, EXACTLY, that is exactly what this time of year is like. I am the one who loiters over the back to school supplies in a stationery shop, casually touching HB pencils and lined notepads. I am the one who buys journals at this time of year with intentions of becoming a diarist. Incidentally, I did write a dairy until the age of 22; I have them in a box still. They are a treasure and a burden at the same time. If I ever re-read them I am both joyful and mortified that I recorded every waking thought from ages 12 to 22. I stopped when life required living, not just writing about. Let me know if you want me to transcribe extracts - I am fairly sure they would be hysterical...

via are so happy

I am in a 1990's funk at the moment. I blame this book: 'One Day' which has been raved about on other blogs. I am certainly not the only one who loved it. I loved that it captured that 1990's era so accurately. I lived through that era and at the time felt nothing occurred that was note-worthy; it seemed to me to be a decade of nothingness from a cultural and social perspective. But then I read 'One Day' and after countless wide smiles of recognition and snorts of 'I sooo remember that' I realised, the 1990's were defining. I know I have read a good book when my instinct is to tell my University friends about it. I still associate reading with them; as I did an English degree, my main scholastic pastime at University was to read. So after finishing this book I immediately texted to say 'you must read this! It's about OUR time'.

So at the moment you'll find me watching films like 'The Bodyguard' and 'Indecent Proposal', reminiscing. Whilst on the topic of 'Indecdent Proposal', can I just say Demi had a great wardrobe in that film; it really was quite progressive for its time, don't you think? I always loved that black cocktail dress she got from the hotel lobby and recall at my University Ball that year someone (her name was Amanda) had a perfect copy and the same hair.

I am ever so slightly nostalgic at the moment (read: complete sentimental and an over-emotional mess) for various reasons. Life is changing and I am clinging to what I know. It's something in me; an instinct that makes me look back with fondness. Must now look to the future...move on.

So maybe the answer is to just think about today. Not yet tomorrow. Here are apples from my garden, complete with bruises and bugs, in a Sussex trug, ready to be made into apple sauce or apple crumble. Time to start...