Autumnal nostalgia...

Autumn days when the grass is jewelled...this time of year makes me nostalgic. I think of my first term at University, where it rained and rained and rained this time of year; blame the West country weather. But as students with less than 10 hours of lectures a week (yea, really) we didn't mind. More reason to stay tucked up in the one warm room of our student house and watch re-runs of thirtysomething or delve into the emotional highs and lows of a John Hughes film; 'She's Having a Baby' was a favourite. We were planning our family lives at 18 years of age! And here I am; living the family life.

It is now at this time of year that my University friends and I get together, for (whilst we are all in throes of motherhood) an annual catch-up. Knowing its coming up makes me miss them even more as life and geography has got in the way of us meeting often. So in Autumn I always get this slight heart ache, that yearning that comes from missing old and precious friends who you know you haven't seen nearly enough of.

via the ever lovely dustjacket attic

Meanwhile, my little life goes on; gearing up for the coming weeks as Christmas starts to draw closer. This year I have a sense of calm about the season that has definitely been missing for a long time. I am revelling in it. Just waiting for the first showing of the Coca-Cola ad; '...holidays are coming, holidays are coming...' to get me truly started.

I notice also that my concentration is shifting; getting back into focus. For so long there has been a haze that now is sharpening up. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there. I am so lucky to have the time to notice. It's amazing really how my mindset has changed. I feel...more in control than I have for years. It's a good feeling.

Guest post by Fleur: Constant Change

Lou has kindly asked me...her S.I.L (sister-in-law for those of you who don't know me) to guest blog today whilst she takes a well deserved rest in the sunshine with hubby and the Boos.

So one year on....with a plus 1! (no I am not talking about my dress size). 

Mr Smidge - our baby boy is now 6 months old. A gorgeous boy....and oh how life has changed.  

Sleep, what's that? Grey hair.....aaah I now know what that is! Hard work...I have always been up for a challenge but this one being out of choice is well worth it!!  This weekend I am off to a good friend's wedding and I have been asked to do a biblical reading.  In the days before Mr Smidge I would have relished the opportunity to do public speaking but having a child tests your confidence in so many ways.  I don't think I have been so unsure of what I am doing or started so many sentances with "why?" and answered all of them with "maybe".  It has taken me 6 months to realise with babies it isn't black and white....in fact it is a colourful rainbow of chaos.  I have learnt about acceptance.  Acceptance that there isn't answers to everything, acceptance of change, acceptance to accept help.

What hasn't changed is my love of Sex and the City re-runs, reading Vogue, Mulberry handbags, Champagne, a good gossip with my girlies and weekends away with my hubby...they just don't happen as often!  They say absence makes the heart grow fonder...but I am a want-everything-right-now-girl and a little upset that I still haven't been able to sit and finish watching the final episode in the last series of 'Brothers and Sisters'.  

Despite the constant change in my life there will always be the constant of love.  Love for my man which is just as strong as the day I met him (except when he only makes a cup of tea for himself without asking if I want one, as he has literally done just this!), love for Mr Smidge, love for family and good friends, love for living life to the fullest.  To some up from an extract from the reading I am reciting on Saturday:

"And now these three things remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

1 Corinthians 13

Although I am a realist as in the past year four of my friends have separated after being married less than 2 years. That's life?! My motto is never be complacent, always keep it fresh and remember perhaps the only reliable thing in life is a GU hot chocolate fondant!
(in layman's terms don't lose your sense of humour)

Let the sun shine for everyone this weekend even if only metaphorically speaking (4 years ago this weekend we got married and it literally rained cats and dogs). I have to dash now as Mr Smidge is taking an unnerving attraction to my latest Issa number...mental note - move Mumma's smart wardrobe out of the nursery!!