Jumat, 03 Juni 2011

Updates...and the pursuit of positivity

Apologies for the lack of blog presence recently; I am finding that I am not able to pull together my thoughts into any semblance of positivity. This week has been hard. There it is: I said it. Half term, which is usually like a salve for my family after the rigour of the school term, has instead been trying. I have been unwell, the children have been demanding and unruly. All is not well but no one can put their finger on exactly why.

via a lady's findings
I have also seen an arsenal of specialists in recent days to try to get a diagnosis of my facial pain. So many of you left lovely comments and even emailed me with the names of obscure medical conditions that it might be. I was really touched and did for a few days have some hope that maybe it was something I could fix. Having seen a consultant though, and now awaiting the outcome of an MRI scan (the single most bizarre experience; having an MRI) I am less positive. I really long to be one of those positive people who can remain upbeat. I have trained myself to channel positive thoughts, but I am finding, when the pain comes and settles in for a long stay, my positivity is seeping away...

The thing with being the lynch pin of the family is that when you are low, the family kinda comes with you, hence why this week has been especially tricky. So...a pitiful little summary I know and I suspect I should just get a grip of myself and get happy. We are going to head to the beach today, as that is the only place I can think of where I will gain some perspective (and be freed from the biblical hay fever that is afflicting me at the moment...oh go away grass pollen!).

In an effort to lift my spirits yesterday I watched 'Dirty Dancing' for the first time in 10 years and realised again how much I love that film. I grew up on that film! My Danish cousin, who we sent a copy on VHS video (see? pre-DVD) actually wore out that final dance scene so that it could no longer be played! Now, I've had the time of my life (without the Black Eyed Pea's 'dirty bit'). OK, so forgive me for being wildly over-simple and nostalgic, but life seemed an awful lot easier back in 1987 when I first watched that film.


The good news is that the children's Godmother and one of my oldest friends is coming to stay tonight and I am hoping she can work her usual magic and drag me out of this slump. Hurrah for friends. Hurrah for the beach. Hurrah for being able to blurt out all these considerations, press publish and feel somewhat relieved...

via a lady's findings

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