Thinking, music and growing up...

Sometimes, I write this blog to think out loud; writing has now become part of my thinking and decision-making process. But other times the thinking process happens over a longer time and takes place more gradually than can be shared on a day to day basis. Like a gentle wave, I don't realise how I am reaching a big decision; it happens quietly but surely. That sounds strange I know; but goes some way to explain the nuances of the mind of Lou; there's always a lot going on there. My friends at University used to comment that there was just so much in my head. At the moment, with time and space, being a thinker has become more of a pleasure. For so long it was something that I was not able to give myself to, but now things seem different.

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So we can conclude from this that my deep thinking is as much a part of me as my green eyes or the way I walk or talk. Someone told me recently that I start every sentence with 'I think...' instead of 'I feel...' as if this were a negative. But for me thinking is feeling.

At the risk of sounding repetitive and self-indulgent, life has been somewhat of an epiphany for me lately. I keep getting these 'what's it all about' moments of clarity. In amongst the day to day...

Last night we went to a 'gig' - I can't even say it was a music concert; it was a gig. In a venue resembling somewhere I would have been to as a student. They sold beer in plastic cups. The floor felt sticky underfoot. We saw an up-and-coming band called The Naked and Famous. So whilst I wouldn't really call myself a concert-goer, it turns out I've been to two in as many weeks. Rihanna was...well she was for the most part awesome. Enormous venue, really established song list, soooo many people, and there she was; a little dot on the horizon wearing very few clothes. Then last night, small venue, cool new band, youthful and fresh. Such a contrast. I think seeing live music makes you feel alive; not least because of that boom you feel in your bones from the noise level.

So to music of a different type; Boo is singing in her school choir this weekend at a Christmas ceremony. It's important as this will be the last Christmas she is at this school. Everything is taking on a poignant air this year with the realisation that she will leave next summer. Ready for the unknown of Senior school. To say it feels momentous would be an understatement and again I am reminded how parenthood is full of phases. Every time you think you have one mastered, a new one begins! Of course I must remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, your choice of school is not the be all and end all - however in our little world it feels like a big deal. Everything is currently geared to the entrance exam she will sit in January to see if she gets in...what I wonder is: when exactly did she get so grown up that we are prepping for exams?!

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